try and try again

I guess this little moral of the story is about asking the right person.

Side note before the story: radiation burns have stopped hurting! Am now into the peeling/itchy phase. Far preferable to pain.

Ok, well, it’s been quite a day. Backing-up for a start:

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nablopomo #28

Feeling much better today.  Almost made it through a whole work day before I hit that pain wall.  It was so nice to have a near-normal day.  And there are rumors of snow!

Good news

Tumor marker test (CA 15-3) came back normal.  But then again, it was normal when I knew I had a tumor in me.  But apparently that happens with early cancer.  So, not quite sure what good it is.  I’m told it’s trends that count.

Still not quite sure I understand it, but if the doc says it’s good, I’m going with it.

Mack truck, revisited

On these dark days, when I wake up all ready to start my day, laying there in bed coming up with the list of things I’d love to do, I get excited and happy and then, well, then I make the mistake of trying to move. As in, roll over so that I can get out of bed. At which point I begin cursing, vehemently: “Holy f&*# that hurts, what happened?” And yes, it all comes flooding back: I had cancer, I don’t have a boob, and on top of that I had radiation treatments and my skin is burned to shit. And why is my head so damn cold? Because it’s winter, and that’s right, I lost most of my hair and it’s back but only an inch long. So it’s cold. Well, it’s that kind of day. And on that kind of day, what cheers me up? This. Laughed ’til I cried. Warnings for those who don’t appreciate the obscenities that come with dark humor.

selective memory

A sweet moment from this summer – my friend who loves gardens. (I’ll tell ya, if I didn’t journal the bad stuff here I probably wouldn’t remember, because the good stuff, that’s what has staying power.  The power of selective memory is that strong!):

This is how we live

This is the email that I sent to friends and family when I was starting chemo, and it’s a good one. Just wanted to save it here for posterity.

Remember how I said this whole breast cancer adventure might be a long haul?

radiation burns

….hurt like all get out. Drinking tons of water, eating protein, and sleeping. And taking painkillers. The photo on the left is of my clavicle, at the base of my neck. The photo below (click on the “keep reading” button, this one is not for the squeamish) is of my axilla, which is a fancy name for armpit.