Dark humor

This post from a young cancer survivor’s blog made me laugh until I cried. Dark humor, how I love thee. In any case, if bad language isn’t your thing, don’t click through (meaning Mom – this one’s not for you, you won’t like it). And it may not seem funny to some, but to me….a huge relief to hear someone tell it like it is.

I have to say, I’ve been having these bizarrely surreal conversations with breast cancer survivors who say that chemo’s no big deal, they went back to work the next day, etc. Nevermind the hair falling out, they loved being bald. Tra la la la.

Ok, I’m being snarky. But I lose my breast, my hair, my fertility (oh yeah, forgot to tell you that, yikes. That’s been freaking me out), and then I get to save my life by killing the cancer off and possibly almost killing me. With numerous possible side effects, some of which might be permanent. Quality of life, see ya!

If I hear the phrase, “not a walk in the park” one more time I’m going to puke. (Which, BTW, I’ve decided that the cancer club card should include super powers, the favorite of which has always been my mom’s desire to be able to suspend people who do or say something wrong in the air for 10 minutes so they have a little time out. I have this vision of all these people sitting around in the air about 10 feet above the surface, just hanging out wondering what the heck they did to piss someone off.)

Thank goodness for the woman who called last night and said, “Ok, I’m going to tell you how it was for me: it was the worst thing I have ever experienced. In. My. Whole. Life.” And to the other woman who said, “Some days, you’ll just want to pull the covers over your head. And that’ll be the best decision you’ll make all day.” And to the woman who took me out for juice and explained, “Sweetheart, as hard as the surgery was – you’re only a quarter of the way through it.” Ok, wait a minute, that’s two surgeries to you – but hey, that’s not enough??!! This BITES.

Can I just say I’m NOT looking forward to this? Oh, I’ll do it. Because cancer will NOT, I repeat NOT kick my patootie. Cancer cells, you watch out, we are COMING TO GET YA. Yep. As soon as I stop freaking out. But we have a date, you cells and I: May 3rd, 1 pm, be there – or better yet, don’t be there. But I’ll be there in any case.

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1 Comment

Filed under breast cancer, chemo, quality of life

One response to “Dark humor

  1. Courtney

    If you lose your hair, it could always come back in gorgeous. (Okay, your hair is already so flaxen and curly and book-cover-worthy and it would be most ideal to get to keep that hair), but a friend got this wild, wiry, emmylou gray color that was amazing. So thick and curly, and she grew it very long. First, however, it made an awesome Amelie-type pixie, but as it grew it became curlier and the color richer. It was so strange that the a person’s entire composition of their hair could change.

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