I just need to whine for a moment: Anniversaries of traumatic events are sneaky. I finally figured out why last Friday – Good Friday – was so rough for me. Last year Good Friday was really, really bad – it was the day my Aunt Maxine died.
So, in any case this would be a rocky time for me, and it is what it is but sheesh. These days are hard. I know I’ve been incredibly upbeat, however, I’m in pain, I’m grieving her loss still a bit, and then my own losses, I have hot flashes and CHILLS (how come no one told me about sudden-onset menopause and chills??? what the heck? I’m either stripping or putting on a big old parka and a blanket, no rhyme or reason to it) and then I have this meeting about chemo today, and again tomorrow and then a darn big decision to make and somehow it all seems too much. Not fair. I want to say enough already, but I do have this theory about the universe as the giant trickster who likes to “one-up” us, and so I don’t want to tempt fate by issuing any challenges.
Ok, officially DONE with my whining for the day!! Bring on that Chemo discussion. Survival stats – check, bring them on. Relapse stats – fine with me. We’ve beat them SO many times with my neice’s health, and with others that stats don’t scare me. Boo.
Many thanks to Sam from England for the “Coping with Chemo” book – it was right there on the shelf at my fingerprints this morning when I decided I really needed it.
And speaking of my bookshelf, I can’t wait to get to read the kick-a** “Cancer Vixen” book that arrived in the mail yesterday. It’s a comic book! Woohoo! LOL. Many thanks to my board member Minda! It’s certainly inline with my cousin’s comment of being able to kick this tumor’s a@$. 🙂