The stuffing in my post-surgery camisole insert has reduced me to tears. Hallie and I tried and tried yesterday to get it right, to get it to match my left breast and we couldn’t do it, and finally concluded that we needed professional help.
So this morning I called the Transitions Appearance Center at Providence’s Ruth J. Spears Breast Center, and was all set to make a joke about being lopsided and lumpy, and just couldn’t do it. Instead I dissolved into an embarrassing puddle of post-mastectomy crying that would rival any 5-year old’s meltdown. The head of the center was very kind though, and patient enough to cajole me in between sobs to explain why the stuffing wasn’t working, and invited me out so she can get me properly stuffed. Lol. They’re not even officially open yet.
We all knew the tears were coming, I just didn’t think it’d be over something so silly, a little bit of cotton fluff.
My friend David made me dinner the other night and we went for a walk, and the stuffing hurt so I took it out. He said he was proud to walk with me, that I was a one-breasted warrior. And I liked that, a lot. It made me feel like a survivor and strong, and proud to have made a decision to save my life.
Guess this is a day to take it easy and chill out…I woke up in SO much pain this morning that I took 2 dilaudid. Lizzy’s on her way though, so we’ll do laundry and play sodoku and take it easy today. One hour at a time. And I’ll stay ahead on the pain meds.
And many thanks to Hallie for washing my hair yesterday, I love it being clean, but then I slept on it funny and somehow a bad hair day just undoes me. Maybe Lizzy and I will put it in curlers and that’ll make me feel better.
For Erin, if you’re reading this, the pink roses are so, so pretty, and the pin from breastcancer.org just lovely, their website has been such a source of support for me.
And Marta, your card arrived all the way from Italy, and I so love it.
As soon as I download the pictures from my camera to free up some room, I’ll start taking pictures of all the gifts and cards and flowers that have arrived, as I’m surrounded by loveliness.